I'm a Better Christian Than Rick Warren, and I'm an Atheist!

Jesus, hear my prayer today, that they don't figure my bullshit out quite yet.

Here's Rick Warren (on fucking Easter!) sharing with ABC his deeply held Christian beliefs:

Well certainly the Bible says we are to care about the poor. There's over 2,000 verses in the Bible about the poor. And God says that those who care about the poor, God will care about them and God will bless them. But there's a fundamental question on the meaning of "fairness." Does fairness mean everybody makes the same amount of money? Or does fairness mean everybody gets the opportunity to make the same amount of money? I do not believe in wealth redistribution, I believe in wealth creation.

Mm-kay. In this week's edition of What Would Jesus Do, let's go to the tape (er, Bible):

And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. --Matthew 19:24

Jesus looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "One thing you lack. Go, sell whatever you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me, taking up the cross."

But his face fell at that saying, and he went away sorrowful, for he was one who had great possessions. Jesus looked around, and said to his disciples, "How difficult it is for those who have riches to enter into the Kingdom of God!"  --Mark 10:19-20

One of the multitude said to him, "Teacher, bid my brother divide the inheritance with me."

But he said to him, "Man, who made me a judge or divider over you?"

And he said to them, "Take heed, and beware of all covetousness; for a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

And he told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man brought forth plentifully;
and he thought to himself, `What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?'

And he said, `I will do this: I will pull down my barns, and build larger ones; and there I will store all my grain and my goods.

And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, be merry.'

But God said to him, `Fool! This night your soul is required of you; and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?'

So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."   --Luke 12:13-21

Jesus to the rich young man: Dude, WTF!

Jesus would be saying that to Rick Warren, if, uh, you know, there was a God...and, uh, if Jesus wasn't, uh, stardust by now.