Clown Car Rundown, Person the Second, Reprise: Chris Christie Declared Dead Again

Bloviate this, big boy...

Okay, just because a NY Times columnist say yer done doesn't mean yer done. But reading Gail Collins' treatment of Christie's sitcheation doesn't bode well for a guy that is apparently hanging on to the clown car's door handle and stumbling along, huffing "Let me in!" Maybe not, jerkface.

I call him jerkface in order to help describe his dilemma: Live by the bloviation, die by the bloviation.

Chris Christie is political toast.

Cause of his charred presidential prospects: an unreformed state pension system. I know that’s disappointing. Not nearly as exciting as the political near-death experiences that went before. We were hoping the next disaster would be something like Governor Yells at Elmo. Or a reprise of the day he chased a guy down the boardwalk while waving an ice cream cone, this time maybe featuring Tom Hanks or Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Fixing New Jersey’s pension system was supposed to be Christie’s signature achievement. He explained it in his keynote speech at the Republican convention in 2012, right after he told us about his mom, his dad, his wife, his children and his love of Bruce Springsteen. “They said it was impossible to touch the third rail of politics,” he bragged.

Trouble is Christie didn't touch the third rail. He punted, and now a judge has told him to meet his obligations under the law he signed and catch up paying into the pension system -- a system he and former NJ GOP governor Christy Todd Whitman systematically looted. Wow, those New Jersey Christies love their pension looting.

So why is he toast, 2016 nominee-wise? It's because he's what, famous for yelling at people? Famous for his malicious mischief with bridges? His withholding money and facetime from people who don't swing his way? Famous for not doing what he said, especially when it was his signature accomplishment? Yeah, maybe all of the above.

If you're going to swagger around, have something to show for it. No? Okay, you couldn't win a primary in New Jersey, fer chrissake. Yeah, you're toast.

Of course, you're talking about the GOP field...