The GOP 2016 Quandary: How to Get to the Right of Ted Cruz

Fine, maybe Jindal. Go ahead, say it: President Bobby Jindal. Ewww...

That's right: The only person in the 2016 GOP clown car with a worse chance of becoming president than Ted Cruz is Bobby Jindal, one of the ones who actually could fit in that dark-matter/anti-gravity space to the right of young Ted. (Yeah, I don't include the Donald because, well, he's the Donald. Don't humor him.) (And Giuliani? He reduced himself to something stuck to the bottom of my shoe.)

Okay, I should include Santorum, but I'm trying not to include things you should never google.

The funny thing (did I say funny!?) is that we'll get to see them try. Okay, Jeb Bush has already signaled he's going to avoid an Etch-A-Sketch moment by not going "there," meaning the place from which Mitt Romney, that Severe Conservative, could not come back from. Move to the center and stay there, sez Jeb. Good luck with that. I see Jeb venturing into CruzLand just to snare the non-crazies and getting dirty with the deed. He thinks he can look reasonable and then go to CrazyLand (er, Teapartyville) without getting wet. Nice try. Shouldn't have done it.

We'll see. Anyway, in keeping with bringing out the long knives, GOPers, here's what I warned about earlier, and, yes, the press is pressing up against the IMPlications of the far-right-wing Cruz-O-Matic machine. Here's Dan Balz:

Announcing his candidacy for the Republican nomination Monday at Liberty University, the first-term senator from Texas offered himself as the pure essence of conservatism and challenged the tea party and evangelical wings of the Republican Party to rise up behind one of their own and take control of the party and the country.

His candidacy is a test of a proposition, one that he has carried across the country for many months. He has argued that the party failed to win the White House not because it has become too conservative but because Republicans have nominated politicians who were not conservative enough, who could not carry the message of today’s conservatism with energy, optimism and authenticity.

Yep, Cruz done that alright, drew the line beyond lies the Lost World.

Next, same Wapo, comes the more reportage-style coverage entitled, "With Cruz in, race for White House heats up." Read it if you want, but basically the title tells it: The 2016 race heats up because Ted Cruz is white-hot, in the same way that the Sun is. Sure, it's bright, but don't stare at it for very long. You'll pay a price.

Anyway, for the thought experiment I promised, here it is: 1) A certain number of potential (and real) GOP candidates will at least attempt to get to the right of Cruz, and 2) It won't be pretty. So while you're trying on the sound of President Ted Cruz and going ewww!, remember that beyond the grift (these boys, including Cruz, are in it for the money and the racket even a faux candidacy sets up) is the ego satisfaction that a number of his rivals crapped themselves doing tea-party cartwheels, to which Ted Cruz smiled and said, "Okay, I'm going down, but so are we all!"

Heckuva job, Teddy.