Hey, Donald, I'll kick Marco's ass for the attorney generalship. Whaddya say? |
The Republican presidential-nomination farce has turned from awful to hideous, a transmogrification no one could have predicted, that is if no one had been paying attention to how bizarre the primary season has been so far. Then again, who could have predicted that the Republican core voters would transform themselves into -- guess what? -- the angry, white, xenophobic, racist, poorly-educated, good old boys they've always been, at least since the Dixiecrats released the former Confederacy from its contract.
Funny thing is, that previous sentence is not hyperbole. Oh, and did I mention they're really, really religious?
On stage at the CNN GOP debate last Thursday, the three leading candidates put on a show that was half World Wrestling and half Monster Truck show, with a good amount of Three Stooges added to the mix.
Gone is serious policy discussion, and in its place the front-runners have scripted their own Mean Girls sequel. The weird deal here is that, in a 24-hour period -- also known as a "news cycle" -- the mean girls ("Rubio puts his makeup on weird." "No, Trump puts his makeup on weird!") went from slapping each other upside the head to ganging up on Marco. I'm left questioning if Rubio will have a career after this middle-school mud-fest, but that's another story.
This one, the bromance that Jersey built, was strung up and flayed by the NYTimes' editorial board, but good:
The bombastic governor may not fully realize that while he damaged Mr. Rubio in New Hampshire with his attack, it also showed voters who Mr. Christie really is. He may help his new best frenemy forever take Mr. Rubio down, but it’s near certain that Mr. Christie will further cement his national reputation as a venal, vindictive political bully in the process. His endorsement has already demonstrated that Mr. Christie will say anything in service of his ambition. Asked what he hopes to get in return, Mr. Christie played coy, saying that after his term ends in 2018, he wants to “go into private life and make money like Trump.”
Here the Times was actually being kind to these jokers, which leaves us to ask: Who are the voters these assholes think they're courting? Oh, I get it.After his performance on Friday, Mr. Christie had better hope that Mr. Trump, wherever he winds up, can find a little something for his new apprentice to do. If Mr. Trump should win the presidency, he might want to consider Mr. Christie for transportation secretary, since he already knows so much about traffic patterns on commuter bridges.
The party of Lincoln? Holy shit. |
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